When do you seek help for your teen?

Written By caleb vogtner

“When I was a boy of fourteen my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.” -Mark Twain

Today’s teen is facing new challenges yes, but the core tasks of a teen have not changed. If you want to be able to identify typical vs. atypical behavior, you’re in luck. But, in order to understand the typical vs. atypical, you need a quick crash course in adolescent development.

Teen brains produce more dopamine (reward) than adult brains thus, they are more susceptible to high risk behaviors. The reason is a disconnected frontal lobe (the brake side of the brain). The teen years are all about pushing down on the accelerator!

The “Typical” Teen

Early teens (13-15) are concrete in their thought processes and are deciding what their moral code will be. Socially they are separating from parents and attaching to peers.

Mid-teens (16-17) are able to understand more abstract concepts but also believe they are bullet proof. Socially they are emotionally separating from parents even more and identifying with their peers.

Late teens- (18-19) are improving in their ability to think more abstractly and with greater complexity, impulse control begins to increase. Socially they are more autonomous and are developing intimate relationships (romantic and platonic) and want to gain more vocational and financial independence.

Tasks of a typical teen

  • Challenging authority

  • Taking risks

  • Advocating for more autonomy

Desired tasks to thrive as an adult

  • Taking  responsibility for self

  • Seeking a life/spiritual path

  • Developing relationships both romantic and platonic

Keep calm and move on…The Teen Brain

The amygdala generates emotion and begins increasing in size during adolescence. Serotonin, which regulates mood, fluctuates more in adolescence. This is normal. If your teen is using any substances or struggling with depression and anxiety, these mood fluctuations will be more intense and personality changes may occur.

Signs that your teen is using substances:

  • Protective of phone

  • Preoccupation with substances (drug related videos showing up in social media feed)

  • Sneaking/lying

  • Changing friend groups

  • Failing classes

  • Quitting sports teams

  • Issues in relationships

  • Stops working toward goals

  • Violates personal values

  • Exhibits extreme mood swings

    Signs that your teen is depressed:

    • Feeling hopeless

    • Appearing tearful

    • Loss of interest in usual activities

    • A depressed teen may present as chronically irritable

    • May experience changes in sleeping habits

    • May move slower (motor movement)

    • Seem fatigued

    • May exhibit an inability to think/process clearly

    Signs that your teen is anxious:

    • Fears social situations where perceived social scrutiny could occur. These can include normal conversations, meeting new people, being seen eating/drinking, or performing in front of others

    • Shying away from situations where there is possibility of being negatively evaluated by adults or peers

    • Excessive worrying

    • Difficulty concentrating

    • Excessive Irritability (outside of their usual temprement)

  • Physical symptoms of anxiety include:

    • Pounding heart

    • Shortness of breath

    • Chest pain/discomfort

    • Nausea

    • Feeling dizzy/lightheaded

    • Feeling detached

    • Restlessness

    • Being keyed up or on the edge

    Benefits of therapy:

    Simply being able to identify emotions can help regulate ones’ nervous system. Many teens do not know how to articulate what they feel and think. A part of the therapeutic process is giving them more insight, awareness, and verbiage to communicate what’s going on inside their head. It’s amazing to see how quickly teens implement the concepts/skills learned in therapy into their daily lives. Therapy can help your teen navigate life’s challenges at an earlier age, a significant advantage for their future.

    Benefits for teens with trauma:

    For those who have experienced traumatic events, getting them into therapy can give them the tools they need to cope in a more adaptive way, thus avoiding the use of maladaptive coping strategies e.g. self harm, drinking/partying, using substances, attraction to toxic relationships, etc. When trauma occurs we naturally develop ways to understand the traumatic event. We organize new behaviors around the trauma and develop systems of meaning to interpret the event(s). Beginning therapy allows teens the opportunity to process these events in order to avoid trauma crystalizing in the brain. Basically, the earlier the intervention, the better the outcome.

    What teens learn in therapy:

    • Identify what they feel and think

    • Articulate what the feel and think

    • Find their voice

    • Understand themselves & others

    • Improve interpersonal skills

    • Reframe negative thoughts

    • Develop healthier sense of self

    • Take accountability for their actions

    • Advocate for themselves

    • Feel empowered; not helpless

    • Mindfulness (being in the moment)

    • Become more resilient

    • Able to identify needs

    • How to utilize their resources to meet their needs

    • How to identify toxic/co-dependent relationships

    • Learn to set healthy boundaries

    • Discover their intrinsic value and uniqueness

caleb vogtner